Bark for Peace!
musings & ramblings, mostly about dogs, from a three being, three species family

Bark for Peace!

Monday Mornings can be Tough

March 28th, 2011 . by lisa knaggs

We had a short and restless night.  Elsa awakened me at 5 am but putting her head upon my arm.  At first I thought I was imagining it, but my hands had been on her paws and around her head since we were able to (or I was able to, at least) doze off around 2am., after several rounds of weeping.  She had to pee, probably a good sign that the diuretic is working, and bless her, she wanted to stand up and let go, not vacate in her own waste as she was forced to when she did not have assistance to stand or move.

After Elsa peed, she tottered a bit, drank some (only a quick sip of broth, mostly water) and then I determined we should try to go back to bed.  That was a tough call as she wanted to stand.  But standing increases the edema in her legs which increases pain and decreases mobility.  Plus, I knew that if I didn’t get some sleep I’d be too much of a wreck to take care of her.

So I gently laid her down on the recline/incline- as close to the position of standing as I could manage with pillows and towels.  She struggled, clearly uncomfortable, with labored breathing and a furrowed brow, often interpreted by me in similar circumstances as a sign of pain.  I cried. I held her sweet head and tried to breathe us to sleep.

Alternately passing in and out of odd dreams, I heard Elsa make some under-her-breath groans as she moved her body into a less awkward position.  I take comfort that that was coming closer to me.  I can only hope it gave her comfort as well.

I have thought about that physical closeness thing a lot.  She is not “my dog.”  I haven’t known her for a long time, bonded, and been through years of life experiences with her.  We don’t know each others quirks and foibles, so this relationship is one of extraordinary trust and I do not want to betray her trust.  That is perhaps one of the most difficult things- discernment with and on behalf of one you barely “know.”  That is why I continue to request your wholehearted support for her care team.  May our minds and hearts be attuned to her body and being, not our own agendas, fears, or even hopes.  May we respect and honor Elsa, for I believe that is love and we all deserve to be loved.

We are on our way to see her Dr. Justin shortly for an eval, blood work, maybe IV diuretic.  Thank you for joining us on this journey…

3 Responses to “Monday Mornings can be Tough”

  1. comment number 1 by: Marti Miller

    Sending all you much love and light for the highest good of all concerned. Every being deserves love and respect.

  2. comment number 2 by: Carol Braly

    Elsa is so blessed to have you on her “team”!! At some level I believe she recognizes that you are helping, and therefore she is willing to trust. God bless both of you! And Dr. Justin, too, who made the decision to try to save her. Keeping all of you in our hearts and prayers!

  3. comment number 3 by: Dolly E

    Bosco, Dave & I hope that yours & Elsa’s journey to the vet & subsquent exam went well for her. Do let us know when you have an opportunity, perhaps when she is sleeping. You’re amazing!

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